Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Eff You Letters

Eff You Cox Whole-Home DVR,

Eff you for not letting me record more than two shows at a time!  I mean what EFF is that?!  Also, eff you for totally sucking at life, and missing half my recordings.  You'll imagine my surprise when I realize I missed an episode of the ever insightly and thought-provoking Jersey Shore thanks to your incompetence!

Eff You Lakers,
I can't even pretend to be a fan anymore, because you're totally sucking it up out there.  I mean, Best Friend Fashionista just ordered purple and yellow running shoes for Christ's sake!  Now she is probably embarassed to even leave the house anymore!  (PS the only benefit of you sucking is my HH doesn't care so much about watching the games anymore...kudos and thanks for that one I guess.)

Eff You Control Freak Ex Boyfriend,

Eff you for happening to live in the town I fell in love with and bought a home in, so that every once in a while I am full on petrified of running into your crazy ass.  Thanks, however, for the memories of what a moron you are - still get some laughs out of some of those.
Eff You Weather,
Eff you for being 91 degrees last Monday and then pouring and 65 degrees on Thursday.  Eff you for not ever actually being cold cold at night - I want to freeze my booty off when I sleep!  We're talking three blankets, wake up in the middle of the night teeth chattering cold ... is that weird? 
Eff You Former Friend,
Eff you for not caring about our friendship half as much as you pretend to care about your turtle that you slowly let die in it's disgusting little excuse for a tank.  Eff you for calling my very sweet and kind husband names, and for putting me in a position no friend should ever put another friend.  Also, a really big eff you for making me hate half my wedding photos because your face is in them and you apparently shouldn't have even been invited.

Eff You Dust,
WHERE DO YOU COME FROM AND HOW DO YOU GET HERE SO FAST?  I could dust daily and still have my furniture look like it's been sitting in a freakin' dust cloud for days.  Not cool, dust, not cool.
Who are you wanting to write Eff You Letters to this week?

1 comment:

erock said...

Lol, I hated COX too, and when I switched over to DISH I became a much kinder, gentler, nicer DVR'er (not a word). A DISH coworker of mine told me about the new Hopper, which lets me record up to 6 live HD programs at once. I can also store 2,000 hours of my TV, so I almost never have to delete the old stuff to make room for the new. MUCH nicer!

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