Monday, September 30, 2013

It's (Almost) Halloween Month!

In September...
We started off the month celebrating an entire year of home ownership, reminiscing about moving into our condo last Labor Day weekend, and celebrating the day off work with some sloppy joes and some Gardening Mom, Hat Dad and Sister Singer company!
Handsome Husband and I had fun catching up with some old friends (we're talking 7th grade connections here, people!) at a BBQ.
I had not one, but two fabulous lunches with Best Friend Cute Apartment over the weekends of September!
I decided to get involved in my community, and joined the Board of Directors for my neighborhoods Homeowner's Association!  (I'm the youngest person there by about 10 years...)
We spent a weekend getting a lot of puppy love from Cute Apartment's doggies while we pet sat for them.  Let's just say, they're cute, but I like my house puppy free for now!
HH's alma mater started off their soccer season, and we were happy to head up to Dominguez Hills to watch them play!  (We would have been even happier to watch them win, but a tie ain't nothing!)
I had another doctor's appointment with an ultrasound, so we got to get another little peak at our baby girl!  The farther along in the pregnancy I get, the more detailed and awesome the ultrasounds and photos are!  It is so fun to see the shape of her profile, with her little nose and chin and everything showing so clearly!
I hosted Ms. Art Teacher for a little dinner and a movie, and was sufficiently freaked out by the movie, Side Effects.
HH and I spent the evening at a Breastfeeding Class, and learned a few things!
Baby Girl got another musical treat when we attended the Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy concert as a family.  I think the music soothed her, cause she wasn't moving nearly as much as I thought she would be.  Maybe she won't be a little dancer after all! 
Grandma Beach Bum and Grandpa Backgammon came over to our house for dinner to celebrate a belated birthday for Grandma BB!  We have some yummy chuck roast, veggies, and salad and topped it off with some brownies!
Just a few days later, we celebrated another family birthday - Aunt Fancy Chef!  This time with tacos and a pretty fabulous chocolate crossaint bread pudding, made with love by Grandma BB!
We had a fun mid-week dinner with Twin Beauty School and The Bouncer at our local deep-dish pizza place.
We got all fancied up for a black-tie event at HH's old company to celebrate a big milestone for the group.  It was fun to get all dressed up, and especially fun to see my handsome man in a tux!  This was one event where I was wishing I could indulge in a few cocktails though!
And the month ended with a big night of TV - the series finale of Breaking Bad (I can't believe it's over!) and the season premier of Homeland!  Luckily we had Cute Apartment and Number Cruncher over to provide us with some commerical commentary throughout the intense shows!
In October? I have to do that yucky glucose test for pregnancy, HH and I are planning to hit up some more soccer games, I've got a fun shopping event, my first baby shower!!!, and of course - Halloween!

Friday, September 27, 2013

On Babymaking: Becoming a Sad Statistic

Post originally written on April 8, 2013 at 6:05pm.  This has been, by far, the hardest post in my Babymaking series to hit Publish on.  The thing that makes it easier is that I am on my way to my happy ending, currently cooking my sweet baby girl - you can check out Bumpdates throughout my current pregnancy HERE.  There is something so taboo about discussing this, as evidenced by the fact that many people I know in real life have no idea this happened.  I went back and forth on whether or not to ever publish this post, but it is a part of my story, and my story wouldn't be complete without it.  I also remember feeling like it was so completely unfair that everyone else just wanted to get pregnant, got pregnant, had these easy pregnancies, and ended up with babies.  I want people to know that wasn't my story, though I continue to count my blessings because my troubles have not been nearly has hard as they could have been.
It has taken me over two weeks to write this.  I think the main reason is that I knew when I wrote this, I would have to go back to my Drafts and open and eventually delete the post entitled The Happiest Birthday, because it's not longer applicable.  And if I'm being honest?  I haven't even opened it now.  I am scared to read what I wrote on March 15th, 2013, the day I turned 25 and the day I got my first positive pregnancy test.  Because my first pregnancy to date, that I wished for and prayed for and hoped for, did not end the way it should have.  And that is the story I'm forcing myself to sit down and write now, because one day?  I'll want to read this, even though right now I find that hard to believe.  And if not, if I ever actually post this, maybe someone else will read it and take something from it that helps them go through what they are going through - the way I felt when I reread Megan and Ashley's stories the very day I got my diagnosis: chemical pregnancy.

I guess I should explain from the beginning.  

After the month where I tried least to get pregnant over the past five months, I was starting to get my hopes up.  Of course every time HH asked me if I thought this might be the month, I reassured him no way, but I think I was just trying to protect myself.  Why get excited for something and then have mother nature shit all over my plans like it had for months?  I was definitely not pregnant, no way.

The day my period was due was also my birthday (happy birthday to me), and on my way out the door for work I grabbed a cheap pregnancy test.  While some might find it a little odd to take a pregnancy test at work (and by some, I mean me too really), I had always had these big dreams of telling HH in a fun surprising way (though, not sure how surprising it really could have been, but I digress).  I knew the only way to get to surprise him was for me to find out at work, and tell him when he got home later that night.  So that morning, after holding it and doing a potty dance all the way to work, hours before my first employee or patient would arrive (and off the clock, thankyouverymuch), I took the pregnancy test that was sure to be negative.  And after a few minutes, my definitely not going to be positive test turned positive.

It's funny they say a woman becomes a mother the minute she sees those two pink lines, but motherly was not the feeling coming over me.  I felt like a child, giddy with excitement, and there were lots of "no f-ing way"s and "holy crap"s uttered in my tiny work bathroom.  It's strange, with the amount of effort I had put into getting pregnant, I could have never prepared myself for the feeling I would get when I finally got there.

After a few moments to myself (and no tears, I knew I wasn't going to cry), I went to my desk, clocked in, and smiled like a crazy person all day.  I couldn't believe it had finally happened - all those thoughts of me being worried I would never get pregnant, how silly was I!  I am pregnant, I am going to have a baby!  I can't believe I ever worried, I will totally get to have the family I've always wanted, and here I am starting with this first little life that I just found out about.

One of the sadder things for me to remember is the amount of times I reached into my purse to look at the positive test.  Not because I thought it would change between glimpses, but because I was so happy, I wanted to remind myself every few minutes about what had just happened.  I think I must have looked 15 times in the hour before my other employees starting showing up.

But the day went on, and the purse ended up staying closed.  After all, there were other women's babies I needed to take care of, and I had to keep busy to avoid from announcing it to every person who walked in the door.  I kept thinking, how do people keep this a secret for so long?  I want everyone to know, I am no longer just your nurse - I am your nurse, and I am going to be a mom!

When the work day ended, I went to a local department store and bought a boy and girl onesie and planned to tell HH by giving them to him.  For the sake of honesty, I'm going to admit the big reveal to Hubs didn't go quite as planned, there was lots of shock (I guess I was wrong, and it was easy to be surprised), but at the end of the day we were excited and after a few days we were very excited. 

Only a few days after finding out, I decided to tell my best friend, CA, because I knew I needed someone to be able to talk to.  In my mind, if God fobid, something happened, I would want to talk to her about that anyway, so it was safe to spill.  We debated on who else to tell, but decided to keep it on the DL until at least after our first appointment, which would have been in two days as I'm writing this, on April 10th.  But, you already know this story doesn't end with us telling our families elaborately, with MIL Red jumping up and down and Hat Dad tearing up with the news.

On Wednesday, March 20th, I began spotting.  It was very light and I wasn't feeling pain, and all the pregnancy message boards reassured me not to worry, this was totally normal.  But I felt like something was wrong.  I was hesitant to give my feelings too much power, though, because hadn't I been worried I would never be able to get pregnant in the first place?  Perhaps (and by perhaps, I mean definitely) I'm just an overthinker by nature (no shit just said all my friends and family reading), and wouldn't it be silly to get myself all worked up because I feel funny.  But I did call the doctor, and I did get some blood work done, and I was trying to take it easy like the doctor had advised.  And by the end of the day?  I had a doctor's appointment that Friday (which just so happened to be HH's birthday), and the spotting had stopped. 

Thursday there was no spotting, and what hurts my heart the most right now is remembering how ridiculously excited I was for the doctor's appointment the next morning.  I can't think about myself lying in bed telling HH "it's so exciting, even though we won't be able to see anything really, we'll be able to see where the baby is going to grow!" without wanting to cry.  I wasn't being naive, I knew something could still go wrong, but I hoped and prayed that when the spotting left, so did some of the risk.

And then Friday came and the spotting was back.  And within hours it went from spotting to heavy spotting to bleeding and then, I knew.  1. I am a nurse, and 2. a master googler.  I know what is normal, and what isn't.  And before I even made it to my lunchtime doctor's appointment, I knew what bad news was awaiting me.  While I know he was just trying to be supportive, the "everything is going to be okay"s from HH were kind, but I knew they simply weren't true about this.

After an ultrasound where the technician was quite coy about what was going on, we met with the doctor who told us she had "good news and bad news".  The bad news was exactly what I feared - there was no baby anymore, I had suffered a chemical pregnancy, or in layman's terms - an early miscarriage.  Oh, but the good news?  I got pregnancy in the first place, and that was a good thing.

At the time, that seemed like such bullshit that it made me hate her.  Here I was, losing a baby and the potential for this little life I so badly wanted to create, and this chick is telling me there's good news?  There was a lot of holding back some "shut the f up"s on my end, but with some distance, I see what she was saying, and I imagine I'll write about that whole "silver lining" of the situation another time.

Back to the bad news.  It hurt, obviously, but in the strangest way.  I didn't feel grief like I was losing a family member, after all, I had only known I was pregnant for a week.  What I felt was more like longing.  I immediately wanted to go back, to get to see the  two lines on the test again, to get to relive telling my husband, I wanted to go back to the night before when I was excited and not this moment I was currently in where I felt broken and raw and empty.

There were lots of tears, and a sinking feeling in my stomach when I realized the only way out this office was through the waiting room full of people waiting for their happy appointments.  Their first ultrasounds where they would take home black and white pictures to go try and figure out which end was the head at home, the anatomy scans where couples would be delighted to find out their baby was 100% healthy, and the last appointments where the doctor finally gives in and schedules an induction and the soon-to-be new parents get to match a birth day with their baby.  It didn't seem quite fair that I had to leave through the same room they were all waiting in, with my handful of tissues and my bloodshot, swollen eyes.  It wasn't fair, but none of it really was.

We went home, and I made some phone calls that needed to be made.  One to CA, who was saddened in a way that made me love her even more than before.  I heard the urge to cry in her voice not because she was losing much, but because she knew how much I was hurting in the moment.  And a phone call to my mother, who didn't even know I was pregnant, but needed to know what I was going through.

There were more tears, some hardcore wishing this was a nightmare, and lots of hugs from HH, as he struggled to figure out how to help me get through something no one should have to go through.  But at the moment I felt so definitively alone, I was not alone at all.  I was a sad, sad statistic.  Because according to my doctor (and there are many other stats you can find online that hover around the same ballpark numbers), chemical pregnancies happen in one of three conceptions.  One in three times an egg is fertilized, it doesn't last past six weeks of pregnancy (the official line that is drawn separating a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage).  My doctor explained many of these pregnancies go undetected, by women who aren't actively trying to get pregnant or don't even realize their period is a few days late.  My doctor told me this was completely random, and that it most likely wouldn't happen again.  

The days that followed were hard, but for many different reasons.  Mainly because no one really knew what I was going through (but a select few) and so there was no sense of mourning for anyone really but me (and HH, but men are so different).  There was no tip-toeing around me, because no one knew that they should be.  The very next day actually, we had a birthday party with HH's family, and part of me wanted to scream "what the hell is everyone so excited about, I just lost a baby, dammit" and the other part of me knew that even if I did, it would never make me feel better.

But I didn't feel like I was losing a baby.  I felt like I was losing the potential of one.  I lost my beautiful story of feeling blessed that God gave me the most wonderful birthday present of all - a new life.  I was losing telling HH's family on Mother's Day that there was a new mother in the room.  Gone was my idea to tell my girlfriends with a party to kick off the summer.  I was losing my November 20th due date, which was so funny because TG had a baby two days after my birthday and I would have one just days after hers!  I lost my Christmas newborn, a way to surely see the holiday season in a new light.  I was losing all the things I had initially thought about this baby, and it would never be the same with the next.  And more importantly, I would never have another first pregnancy.  This would always be the first chapter in the novel of the family I hope to have one day.

The more removed I get, the easier it has become.  It is not all I think about now, and I am not crying every day.  But sometimes, in moments I least expect, I feel a wave of sadness and that longing feeling come over me and it's like I can't breathe.  Like the loss is choking me and there is a tightening in my chest that hurts so badly and I wonder if I will ever not get those waves of pain.  I don't ever want to forget, but I don't always want to feel so overcome with this feeling either.

Even after spending the last hour writing this, I truly don't know that I will ever publish it.  That this will ever become a part of Stress Case's official blog story.  But unfortunately, I don't have any say in whether it is a part of Casey Micheil's story (though I do still have fleeting wishes it was a nightmare), because it is.  And now I'm just trying to turn the page, and see what comes next.

Linking up with Things I Can't Say for Pour Your Heart Out.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

New Years Baby: Week 25

What's up with Baby this week? Baby girl weighs a full two pounds, and is 9+ inches from crown to booty!  Her eyes are starting to open for the first time this week.

Symptoms? Lots of nerve pain in my right hip, butt cheek, and down the leg.  Worse when sitting on a squishy surface (like a couch or bed, go figure), but the other day it was a pain even when walking!

Gender? Baby girl.

Excited For? September being almost over!  This was the month I thought was going to go by so slow, but to my surprise, it has flown like the rest of the months seem to!  October brings some cooler weather (hopefully!), my first baby shower, and some Halloween fun!

Maternity Clothes? Same as last week - non-maternity scrubs, mostly maternity outside of work.  I'll be rocking a non-maternity gown at a black-tie event this weekend, and for that?  I'm proud!

Sleep? Going pretty well, still.  Hoping my sleepthroughanything habits last the entire time!

Movement? Feeling her all the time.  Last weekend I had a lot of anxiety because she was barely moving all weekend.  To be honest, I even asked a friend to ask his OBGYN Dad if I should be worried (Dr. R, if by some chance you ever happen upon this blog - thank you for your kindness and consideration in answering my hormonal question!!).  There was no reason to fear, because she is back to dancing all day.

Belly Button Status? In, but getting shallow.

Missing Anything? My clothes.


25w1d Baby girl attends her second concert in-utero, this time she got to groove to Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy!

25w3d We tested the theory that our little lady's eyes are opening in there by shining a flashlight on my belly.  What do you know, she kicked me right away in response!  It's so fun to play a little game with her!
Cravings? I needed some Chinese food this week - and not just any Chinese.  HH's least favorite.  Guess he loves me more than he hates the food though, cause he was a doll and went and bought me those rice noodles I was craving!

Weight Gain? My doctor says up 14 pounds. I'm skeptical. And terrified.

My how I've grown!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Things I Learned in Breastfeeding Class

Prolactin plug-ins.  Must have been snoozing during that section of nursing school, cause that is an expression I hadn't heard before.

It's a good idea to not tell your family that you're in labor (no matter how close they live to you), and just let them know when baby has arrived.  This wouldn't go over well with some of our family members...
These boobies have been making milk since Week 12 of pregnancy!  Say what?!
Babies are born full!  That is why it's okay that milk doesn't start a-flowin' until Day 3 or so, because baby really just needs to suck as a reflux, not to get full again.
Certified Lactation Educators are not allowed to teach how you how to side-lying nurse, due to the risk of SIDS that has been associated with cosleeping.  So they will get on the floor and show you exactly how to.  This is, apparently, not teaching it.
Speaking of Certified Lactation Educators, they might quite possibly be the most bubbly and energenic people on earth.
All in all, while some of it was a little funny (and maybe a little crunchy slash granola for my tastes), I'm glad HH and I took the time to attend this breastfeeding class (though I gotta tell you, 2 1/2 hours of straight boob talk with no breaks is a little rough near the end), and I hope it comes in handy when our little lady makes her appearance!  If you live in the Orange County, California area and are looking for a good class, please let me know - I'd be happy to pass on my information! 

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Scary Revelation

Want to know something scary I just realized?  (Though, sadly, it's been true since March 16, 2013.)

I am now closer to 30-years-old than I am to 20-years-old.
I often feel conflicted over aging.  Sometimes I feel excited about what life has brought me and continues to bring, and no where near worried or anxious about my age.  And then, sometimes...not so much.  Sometimes I feel worried that the years are going by too fast.  Worried that I won't have the time to do everything I want to.

I feel ashamed that I'm 25 (and a half) and don't have a Bachelor's Degree yet.  I feel anxious that in less than 5 years I'll be 30 and I don't want that to be true anymore.

I feel like I have lots (okay lots might be an overstatement) more babies to have, and I just want to be done before 35.  (Side note: No judgement for those who choose otherwise, whether voluntarily or due to health, financial or any other reasons.  My own Gardening Momma had kids in her late 30s.  'Tis a personal preference.)
Might be morbid, but every year I age is a year everyone else ages, and losing people that are important to me scares the living daylights out of me.  I don't want to know what that part of being a grown up feels like.
On the other hand, I'm so excited to be in the current stage of my life.  Blissfully and happily married to a man I love and can't get enough of.  Starting a family right around the time I always imagined.  Making memories in the home we worked so hard to buy.  Watching my younger sisters grow into young adults.  Witnessing the youngest generation of HH's family get bigger and bigger - with us adding a little lady to the mix now, too!  Working for an organization I respect, one where I feel valued, compensated appropriately, and important.  Having my relationship with my parents settle into a happy adult stage, something I never knew I wanted until it happened.
Here's hoping my 30s will be even better than my 20s. 
But the next 4 1/2 years don't need to fly by or anything.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

New Years Baby Bumpdate: Week 24, Six Months Pregnant!


What's up with Baby this week? Baby's skin is getting pinker, as her capillaries start filling with blood, which helps her lungs to develop!  Her little nostrils (on her cute little nose we saw on the ultrasound this week!) are starting to open, and she is starting to practice taking breaths.

Symptoms? Right hip pain - I think it's nerve pain, as it reminds me of the torture I felt a few years back when I had a pinched nerve.  Anything for my baby girl, but it would be cool is this subsided a little bit!

Gender? Lady.

Excited For? Cousin Study Buddy informing me that invitations for my first baby shower will be going out first week of October.  Hello, that is like around the corner!  So excited!  We also reserved our newborn photographer, and have chosen our maternity photographer - more things to be ridiculously excited for!

Maternity Clothes? I'm pretty impressed that I'm still fitting in about half of my scrub pants, and think they might make it the entire pregnancy!  Tops, however, are getting a bit short, and I'll need to switch to T-shirts and only my looser and longer tops soon.  Outside of work?  Wearing almost all maternity out, but squeezing my hiney into non-maternity at home more often.

Sleep? After a few days of being woken up by doggy licks (we were pet sitting for Cute Apartment while she headed to Vegas for the weekend with her beau), I am back to sleeping like a rock!

Movement? Love feeling her kick all the time.  Handsome Husband has now been able to feel her pretty consistently from the outside, and he even saw my belly bounce with one of her kicks!

Belly Button Status? Still in, but defintely

Missing Anything? Beer.  Wine.  Vodka.  Do you see a trend?

24w I'm 6 months pregnant!

24w3d HH feels his first strong for sure that's little baby girl kick from the outside, while at Cousin Ronomon and Tutor Girl's house!

24w5d I played a little game poking my belly and feeling her kick me in response, and a few minutes later HH sees my belly bounce for the first time from one of her swift kicks.
Cravings? Lucky Charms!

Weight Gain? My doctor says up 14 pounds.  I'm skeptical.  And terrified.

Bonus front view of the belly!
Pony looks way cuter from the front, also.

My how I've grown!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Girls Go to Seattle: Waterfalls and Flying Home

Check out previous Seattle recaps HERE.

On our very last day in Seattle, I managed to wake up tired.  By the end of the trip, I realized that I am not Superwoman (I know, right?!) and that pregnancy really does have an effect on your body.  I found myself more tired, more achy, and generally more ready for my own bed with my husband in it.  Don't get me wrong, the trip was lovely, and I'm so glad we went, because I don't know when we'll get to go on another girls' trip without our newest addition.  But by the end?  I was ready for home.

But we had one more day of Seattle fun to experience before hoping back on a plane to Orange County!  A very kind business associate of Gardening Mom's ended up being our tour guide for the day, and was generous enough to take us a little outside city limits all the way to Snoqualmie Falls, and to the Salish Lodge for lunch. 

After a ridiculously good meal, we went down to get a closer look at the falls. 


We enjoyed the waterfalls, didn't enjoy people standing in our way when trying to get quality photos like the yoga pose above, and checked out the gift shop. 

We then piled into the car and did some driving around to see the neighborhoods of Seattle.  After seeing our last little bits of the city, we headed to the airport where we had a (fabulously) uneventful flight home. 

Thank you, Gardening Momma, for taking us on such a wonderful getaway weekend, and Sisters Singer and Swimmer for the company and laughs along the way.  I can't wait for my little lady to join us on a girls trip someday!

Friday, September 13, 2013

The Nail Files

I've been a blogging loser for so long that I must have not noticed that Jennie is now the new host of The Nail Files! I'm excited to check out her blog, and of course, check out some cute manis!!  I'm sharing my homemade manicure this week, because it's been a long time since these nails have had some color slapped on them!

I love this Sinful Colors shade, I think it screams fall without being too dark.  And the gold glitter?  Came in a multi-pack from Michaels of all places last Christmas!  It is gunky, and not great quality, but I often use it because I love the teeny tiny bits of glitter it gives.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

New Years Baby: Week 23


What's up with Baby this week? Baby girl weighs over a pound and a half now, and she measures eight and a half inches from her teeny head to her cute little booty.  Her face is almost fully formed, so if we had a way to look in, we could see if she's looking like Mom or Dad!

Symptoms? More back pain, and feeling super tired this week!

Gender? Girlfriend.

Excited For? Finally working on another nursery project (okay, I bought the supplies and that's it so far, but it's a start!).

Maternity Clothes? Desperately.  Seeking.  Cute.  Maternity.  Clothes.

Sleep? Pretty good, just needing lots of it!

Movement? I feel her all the time now, and it is the most wonderful thing.  I feel so blessed to be able to experience this!

Belly Button Status? In!

Missing Anything? Sushi, especially spicy tuna.


Cravings? Ice cream.

Weight Gain? 7 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight, as of my last doctor's appointment.  I have another appointment next week, so we'll see where we're at then.

My how I've grown!


Note to self: Take pictures with the "13-week" angle, far more flattering!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Quotable Tuesdays

Cara Box

I have been such a blog slacker, and I must apologize, because sweet Kendra showered me with the cutest goodies (most of which were for baby girl - so thoughtful!) during this month's Cara Box exchange!  I had never done Cara Box before, and I'm glad I did because I got to know a wonderful new blog friend, Kendra!

The wine back there is mine (patiently waiting to reunite with me in January), no one sends wine to a pregnant chick!

How adorable is her handmade card!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Blogtember: My Personality

Monday, September 9: Take this short personality test and respond to your results. (at the end, find the detailed profile of your personality account - click "click to view" under "You" and "self awareness and personal growth." You can even google your type and find more info on it!)

I am weird in that I totally love these little online quizzes, so I knew I would be linking up for Blogtember today!  I happily spent about 20 minutes clicking yes or no, and wasn't too surprised when this greeted me at the end:

After a little research, I found a great synopsis of the personality type HERE.

Ironically enough, ESFJs are considered "The Caregiver".  Maybe nursing wasn't such an out-there career path for me, afterall!

"ESFJs are people persons - they love people.  They are warmly interested in others.  They want to like people, and have a special skill at brigning out the best in others."  I hope that I am able to bring out the best in others.  As far as wanting to like other people?  I really do think that I've become much more interested in getting to know and truly liking new people as I get older.  And I'm glad, because mean girls are so high school.

"The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable.  They value security and stability, and have a strong sense of focus on the details of life."  For sure this is me.  I am organized, detail-oriented, and dependable to a fault.  I don't think I let people down very often (hopefully never!), and that is something I pride myself on!

"They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment."  I have always said everyone has many versions of themselves that they put on in front of different groups of people, but overtime I've found that this isn't necessarily true.  That not everyone does that, but I certainly do.  By no means do I think I'm fake or insincere, but I don't drop the f-bombs around Grandma Beach Bum like I do around Best Friend Cute Apartment, and I don't talk types of diapers with Best Friend Swagger, like I might with Tutor Girl.

"They usually have well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions."  Yes, yes, yes.  I've been told my views on life, and how I personally think it should be lived are too...rigid?  And that could be true.  I have very strong views on how things should be, and I don't often censor those thoughts.

"ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society...female ESFJs will be very feminine.  ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic.  They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family."  I would only hope that someone would use all those lovely adjectives (or any of them!) to describe me!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

New Years Baby: Week 22


What's up with Baby this week? Baby is gearing up for a growth spurt - in the next four weeks alone, her weight will double!  

Symptoms? Lots of aching this past week - sore legs, back, and hips.  Hoping this week is a fluke and not the beginning of a new state of discomfort.

Gender? Sweet baby girl.

Excited For? Little princess' closet getting more and more clothes in it!  I know they say to hold off on buying clothes until after the baby shower, but I really can't help myself when there is a mean sale!

Maternity Clothes? Mix of both maternity and non, but I am really needing some more maternity in my closet.  Getting sick of having so few options that fit comfortably these days.

Sleep? Great this week, but waking up feeling tired no matter how many hours of sleep I get.

Movement? Feeling her many times a day, now!  I can tell the different between her whole body moving in flips and turns and when she is kicking, which is fun.  I can feel it from the outside sometimes, but HH hasn't been able to feel consistently.  I think within the next couple weeks, everyone who wants to will be able to feel baby girl from the outside.

Belly Button Status? In!

Missing Anything? Some of my clothes.

22w6d Baby girl's first round of dental work (okay, it was on my teeth, cause she better not be one of those creepy babies born with teeth!).
Cravings? Watermelon, pineapple, mandarin oranges - bring on the fruit!

Weight Gain? 7 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight, as of my last doctor's appointment.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Adventures in Pinterest: Gender Reveal Party Details

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out the video from our Gender Reveal Party, to see these fun details and more!

Pinterest was obviously my #1 go-to site when planning our Gender Reveal Party.  I think Pinterest may have somehow been the one to invent these types of parties, afterall.  There were definitely some pinspired elements at our party, and I wanted to share those with you!

My Pinspiration:

My Creation:

I absolutely loved the way the mix of patterned fabrics looked on this banner, and couldn't wait to recreate it!  I picked up all my fabric and ribbon at JoAnns, the tape was from Michaels (but you can find it on HERE also).  It was super simple to make, though one of the fabrics I chose just would not work with the double-sided craft tape I picked up, so I had to scrap that one from the banner.  Other than that, easy peasy.  I freehanded a "stencil" out of regular paper, and used that to keep the triangles roughly the same size and shape.  I used tiny bits of the craft tape to hang the banner in a few places around my parents' home for some cute pink and blue decor!
 My Pinspiration:


My Creation:
I absolutely loved the idea of putting together a "Boy or Girl" banner (clearly, I'm into banners at the moment), but wanted something that more went with our theme or bright pink and blues.  Using my Silhouette Machine, I was able to cut the little flags, the letters, and punctuation in no time!  I used tiny foam craft mounts to secure the letters to the flags for a little dimension, and strung the flags onto twine I had on hang to hang it.

 My Pinspiration:


My Creation:

Funny enough, this was probably the most time consuming of the projects I'm sharing with you today!  Taking the time to cut and ball the fruit was definitely intensive, but the surprising part was how hard it was to get it looking so Pinterest perfect.  The above photos are completely misleading, because you can't really just put the fruits in one variety at a time.  You have to layer them, keeping all the "columns" even, or it spills and fill the entire watermelon "bowl".  It was a lot of trial and error, but all in all it wasn't that bad!  And the result is adorable, if I do say so myself!  I definitely plan to present fruit like this in the future!

Monday, September 2, 2013

On Babymaking: I Cried

Post originally written December 21, 2012, the fourth month I was hoping to fall pregnant and in fact, did not.  You can read earlier posts from our Babymaking Journey HERE.

I don't care about TMI today, so Dad, stop reading.  Today, I am sad, and today I am telling it how it is.

Yesterday, Mother Nature came for a visit.  A few days earlier than expected, and after I really thought this month might be our month.  Without getting in to to many technical details, I showed some real signs of possibly being pregnant during the dreaded wait between sexytime and pregnancy test time.  (I realize now some of these potential signs were probably in my head, and that makes me feel silly and stupid.)

I really felt positive this month.  I also really wanted to be able to tell my Handsome Husband I was pregnant on Christmas morning.  I daydreamed a few more times that I'd like to admit about what a beautiful moment it would be with us sleepy-eyed on the floor of our new home rejoicing about the fact that our family was soon going to grow by two little feet.

And now that won't happen.  Not this month, at least.  And I cried about it.  It was the first time during this process that I've shed a tear about it.  Which is sort of unlike me being that I'm kind of a three-year-old stuck in a 24-year-old's life in that I cry about just about anything that doesn't go my way.

I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with us, if we will ever get to have a baby.  I know that's rash, and there are people who tried way longer than this that are laughing as they read this, but here's the thing: I'm not desperate for a baby.  I'm really not.  Would I like one?  Obviously.  Am I overjoyed when I think about the posibility?  Absolutely.  But am I desperate for one?  No.

What scares me is each month that I don't get pregnant, I wonder if something is wrong.  If there's a reason I've always been so scared of infertility - if somehow I always knew.  I suppose only time will tell.

The silver lining is that a huge bottle of champagne and an even bigger hangover are now calling my name on New Year's Eve.
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