The Proposal: A Guest Post by Handsome Husband!

First, I’d like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CASEY!!! I can’t believe it’s already the fourth anniversary of your 21^st birthday; time flies! Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day!!

 So…the proposal. Where do I begin?

 I bought the engagement ring at Robbins Bros about a week before I planned to propose. I had driven up to Orange County for the day (somehow without Casey) and had a great alibi already planned out for the inevitable “what did you do today?” question that I was so sure Casey would ask (and she did. And she believed my answer).

Anyways, some of you might be thinking “why did you buy the ring at Robbins Bros, HH?” or “their rings are overpriced!” Well, at the time, we had a friend by the name of Twin Unicorn who was working at Robbins Bros. Not only did she make the ring buying process was less stressful but she was also able to hook me up with a discount!! Side note: Casey had already went in to Robbins Bros a few months before to check out some different ring styles so as to make sure that when I did buy her an engagement ring, it was one that she would like. Based on how well you know her from reading this blog, are you surprised?

Neither was I.

Back to the story. I got the ring. I drove over to my grandparents house and said “hey guys! Here’s an engagement ring I just bought because I’m proposing to Casey soon so can you hide it for me until I need it? Kthanksbye!” No, it was actually a little nicer than that, plus they were expecting me so it wasn’t SHOCKING news to them. After the ring was in its hiding spot, I returned to sunny San Diego.

The date was Saturday, April 4, 2009 and Casey and I were at a park celebrating my cousin’s daughter’s first birthday (Cousin Teeny Girl!) with my whole family. The only thing I remember from that party is being a bit anxious because my proposal plan was already set in motion.

I tried to time our departure from the party to coincide with that of my grandparents because they had the engagement ring with them in their car (as I had instructed them to do, not because they chose their car to hide my ring in). When we were walking to my car, I gave Casey the keys and told her to go start the car and that I have to go help out my grandma with something. According to Casey, this was a very weird request because apparently my grandma didn’t appear to need much help with anything but she got over it and got in the car. I went over to my grandma’s car, got the ring, put it in my pocket, got in my car, and started driving to the place where I had chosen to propose to Casey.

I knew it was going to be tough to get Casey to agree to go to the place I had chosen to propose, not because it was some disgusting, horrible place, but because she’s not a very “go with the flow” kind of girl. As soon as something gets off-track, she has a mild panic attack (love you, babe!).

So I asked her if she wanted to go check out our old junior high school, which as most of you may know, is where we met for the first time. Of course, and as I anticipated, my question was met with a very less than favorable response but alas, I was the one driving so therefore she had to do what I wanted to do (little did I know, that would be the last time we ever did anything I wanted to do that Casey didn’t want to do #marriedlife #justkidding #butseriously…).

We arrived at the school and parked in the mini parking lot. I think it is so funny how much smaller a school seems to get once you graduate from it and get older. I remember thinking that our junior high was SO big! Then, we went to the high school right down the hill and then I though the high school was SO big. Now, after going to college at a large university, both schools are ridiculously small, but I digress.

 

The Junior High we attended

 

This part was another part where I anticipated some more difficulties. I told Casey that I wanted to get out of the car and go walk around the quad of the school. She, of course, was saying things like “this is so dumb!” and “why are we doing this?” I just ignored all of that and began walking onto the campus because I knew she would follow me anyways.

First, we walked over to where we used to hang out in 8^th grade. There were these blue benches that we used to sit at, so we went and sat on them (you know, be able to really feel the memories better). My plan was to get Casey to stand in the spot where we took the famous (at least in our world) picture of us together in 8^th grade. I thought it would be very romantic to ask her to marry me in that very same spot (awwwwww!). But that’s not what happened.

 

 

We got to that spot and I gave her the whole “omg this is totes where we took that picture of us in 8^th grade!” thing and she was naturally surprisingly unimpressed. Not really caring about her lack of enthusiasm moments before I was about to change both our lives with a serious question, I was determined to still do it right there. She turned around for a second so I got down on bended knee and had the ring in my hand and then…………………

…………………she didn’t turn back around! So, I did what anyone would’ve done. I quickly got back up and put the ring back in my pocket before she could turn around and see the disaster that had just been averted and just. Acted. Natural.

From that failed moment on, I was wingin’ it. We walked over to the blue benches where we used to hang out in 7^th grade and sat there for a little bit, reminiscing ‘n such. I stood up (Casey was still sitting on the blue bench) and noticed that there was a mural painted on the wall to her right that I had never seen before so I very smoothly said “hey, I think that mural is relatively new.” Just as I had masterfully planned, Casey took the bait and turned her head to the right to look at the mural. When she looked back, I was down (again) on bended knee with the ring in my hand. Of course, she was extremely surprised to see me in that position and to see the ring. I started to say my piece, which was basically something along the lines of “hey. You’s cute. Let’s get married ‘n sh*t. Aight?” “Casey, you’re the love of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

She said yes (she was excited about that!) and the rest is history!

At Mother-in-Law Red's House hours after we got engaged, with Cousin Ronomon and Tutor Girl!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

CASEY!

The First Seven Months

After I decided I wanted to be with the Redhead, it was as if I forgot what it was like before.  Like in an single moment, I went from Casey BL (before love) to Casey AL (after love).  And I don't mean that in a bad way - not that we were codependent or anything like that, but just that once I realized what it felt like to be with Redhead, I never wanted to feel what it would be like to be without.

Our first few months of dating were filled lots of hours in the car (mostly on my part - I lived in LA at the time and Red lived in San Diego, he began soccer season weeks after we began dating and couldn't get away much), many kisses, and very many sappy text messages during the week when we were apart.  I drove down to San Diego every weekend I could, both because I couldn't get enough of Red, and because I hated my life in Los Angeles.

I know that had I lived in LA under different circumstances, I could have had a really fulfilling, fun life there.  However - I lived there for an internship, while taking classes at the local community college, under 21 (no bar scene for me!), and with no friends living there.  Wouldn't you know that about four years later I would have nearly as many friends living in LA than living near me - funny how timing can change everything.

After just weeks of dating, we exchanged the inevitable I Love You's, and it was only a few more weeks before we were talking about the future.  I felt a little crazy at the time, but it's like in When Harry Met Sally -

We hatched up a plan that I would move down to San Diego, continue taking classes (at the time my end goal was to tranfer to SDSU and get a degree in Business Admin/Marketing - oh, how things change), and get a waitressing job to fill my time and pay some bills.  The plan was for Summertime/Fall when Red's lease would be up, though that seemed excrutiatingly far away.

However, in the plot twist that changed everything, one of Red's roommate wanted to move out early.  They needed someone to cover his portion of the rent, and it will always make me smile when I think of one of Red's other roommate's suggesting me as a replacement.  Red and I knew we wanted to live together, but never did I think his roomates would be so supportive as to suggest it.  Red's roomate had moved out by mid-September, but I wouldn't move down until finishing up the semester and giving adequate notice at my internship.

Telling people about the change was both easy and hard.  Keep in mind, at this point we had literally been dating a month (though I wouldn't move in until January - 4 months later).  Some people took it way easier than I though, like Gardnening Mom who was completely fine with it, and Mother-in-Law Red who didn't seem phased.  Others, like friends and extended family, were shocked and a little concered at the pace at which we were moving.  I will always be grateful to friends like Fashionista who basically expressed "Seems a little fast, and maybe not the smartest move - but if you're happy, I'm happy".  I hope that looking back, even though it might have been a little whackadoo at the time, everyone thinks it was ultimately a good decision!

From January to April, we enjoyed being submersed in one another's lives.  I got to start a whole new life, meeting new friends, taking new classes, and living in a city I'd never even thought about living in - a city I fell in love with, by the way.  I got to really get to know Red's friends, especially our roomates, most of which I now, five years later, consider my friends as well.  Red and I talked incessantly about getting engaged, getting married, what our lives would be like.  We got to know each other's families (though not nearly as well as Red got to know mine a few years later when we moved in with my parents), and fell into a happy groove in our life together.

I knew we would be getting engaged at some point sooner rather than later (albeit with plans of quite the long engagement), but I had assumed Red was going to wait for our 1-year annivery to pass.  Well, in April of 2009 (just seven months after we became an US), he had a little surprise for me.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks. Read about how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, what he did for me while in Europe, and our first kiss. You can also read about how he was a total jackass played hard to get right when I was ready to give him a shot. Then we decided to make things "official" on 08.08.08, and I said something stupid shortly after.  I shared photos from our first few months as an "US" last time.

Scenes From Our First Months

In continuing to tell Our Love Story, check out some scenes from our first few months together.  No need to comment on how skinny I look - isn't it sad I thought I was fat then?! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next time?  HH start talking about living together, and it happens much sooner than we think.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks. Read about how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, what he did for me while in Europe, and our first kiss. You can also read about how he was a total jackass played hard to get right when I was ready to give him a shot. Then we decided to make things "official" on 08.08.08, and I said something stupid shortly after.

The One Where I Say Something Stupid

I've struggled with how to update Our Love Story for while now, because what do you really say about the first few months in a relatonship?

They were exciting, exhilariting, all-encompassing.  I managed to become a really bad friend (something I had always, and again pride myself on) because I was falling so in love with my best friend at the time.  This is something I'll always wish I would have handled better - the juggling act of new young love and the rest of your life, but alas I cannot go back and things turned out pretty well for me in the long run.

Redheaded Kid and I fell fast and hard, and we soon started talking about our future together.  But not until after one night very early on in our courtship that I'll always remember when I talked out of my ass said something stupid, that thankfully didn't come true.

We were driving (this moment is so clear in my head, I know for a fact we were driving to his mom's old house off of El Toro Rd), and my new boyfriend, Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid, said something about the future.

Redhead: (something along the lines of) "Hey, maybe we'll get married one day (nervous laugh)!"

Me: "HAHA okay Redhead, you know we're not getting married."

Redhead: "What makes you say that?"

Me: "Dude (we still call each other dude to this day), you've only had one other girlfriend, you can't just marry the second girl you date!  You need to live some more.  But this is fun for now though, right?!"

 

I'm unsure why I thought that was an appropriate thing to say at the time, or ever, but oh glad I am that I was wrong. 

 

Come back next week for scenes of our first few months together.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks. Read about how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, what he did for me while in Europe, and our first kiss. You can also read about how he was a total jackass played hard to get right when I was ready to give him a shot.  Then we decided to make things "official" on 08.08.08.

08.08.08

Our first date came and went, and amazing it was.  We laughed like we had been laughing for months, but this time it was different.  We were laughing and holding hands.  Giggling and stealing kisses.  It was like falling in love with your best friend...which is probably because it was.

That first weekend we spent after deciding to give things a try was deliciously joyful.  It was so fun to be "out" for lack of a better expression - to have admitted my feelings and not feel like there was the unspoken secret between us and everyone who knew us - little did I know at the time, it was no secret, it was pretty obvious there was something between us the whole time.

I will always remember our Friday night date to El Torito Grill (not El Torito - there is a difference!).  We ran into someone we went to high school with, and laughed about how random it must have been for her to see us together.  We had a wonderful dinner, and headed back to the car where we went to Redheaded Kid's mom's house, whom I re-met (I had originally met her as a dorky looking 12-year-old, my hopes are that I made a better impression as a dorky looking 20-year-old).  When we got in the car a certain super popular song by a certain woman-beating singer (coughChrisBrowncough) was playing (this was pre-beating though, so it was the jam) and we decided this would be our song (another reason to hate Chris Brown - he ruined our song!). 

It was also in this moment, whilst listening to Forever, that we realized the date - August 8th, 2008.  08.08.08!

Redhead: 08.08.08 would be pretty easy to remember, want to make this thing official?

Stress Casey: You've got a way with words.  Sure!

 

And that's how we became an official we.

 

PS. By far, one of the sweetest conversations I've ever had with HH was when we were at his mom's house later that night, grabbing his laptop to make things Facebook Official.

 

Stress Casey: Okay, you go first and then I'll accept.

Redhead: No, you go first, no one will believe that I'm dating you if I go first!

So adorable.

 

And no, the irony that I am posting this on 12.12.12 is not lost on me.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks. Read about how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, what he did for me while in Europe, and our first kiss.  You can also read about how he was a total jackass played hard to get right when I was ready to give him a shot.

Redheaded Kid Becomes Hard To Get

It has been way too long since I gave y'all another chapter to our love story. 

Last time, I told you about our first kiss, and how it came to happen knee-deep in the Colorado River on August 1, 2008 (I'm sort of a Rainman about dates).

Well, after we kissed, we spent the whole weekend sneaking little kisses here and there, while our friends wondered what the hell was going on, considering I had just told all my girlfriends minutes before that kiss that I was going to tell him that we simply could not be together.

The rest of the weekend seemed to fly by, and before we knew it Redheaded Kid was heading back to San Diego, and me to Los Angeles - the very reason I had wanted to avoid starting a relationship in the first place.  I held it together on the car ride home (I did have three amazing girls dancing and singing with me in the car for four hours to take my mind off things), but when I got home, I cried.  A lot.  I cried because I had let myself get a glimpse of what it would be like for me and Redhead to be an us - to be a couple.  I had told myself for so long that we couldn't be together, that it wouldn't work with the distance - why had I been so stupid as to let myself see how nice it would be if it just could be?

In the days following the trip to Arizona, my mind was a little hazy.  I didn't know what to do, but I just kept thinking - is it really impossible?  Two hours is not far, people make relationships work from seperate countries, we could do it couldn't we?  After long chats with my girlfriends, and a couple of comments about how they never really understood why I kept saying it wouldn't work, I called my friend, Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid.

I think we could do it.

We should at least try.

I really really like you, and I want to make this happen.

While I waited to hear the joy in his voice and the excitement in which we would talk about how we were going to make it work...he shocked the hell out of me with something else.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

Um, I'm sorry, WHAT?

This Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid had spent weeks telling me how much he liked me, and months showing me before he got up the courage to tell me.  And now he's not sure?

Lucky for him I didn't hang up and give the phone the finger right then and there.  We decided to think it over, and talk later.  Well the Kid's indecisiveness was a short phase, because by that night we were making plans for our first real date.

What kind of high class romance was on the menu for the date night?

This movie:

Nothing quite like dating your best friend.

Next Time?

Redheaded Kid and I go to dinner,

and decide 08.08.08 has a nice ring to it.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks.  Read about how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, what he did for me while in Europe, and our first kiss. 

Our First Kiss

Time to share another chapter from Our Love Story.

Last time, I shared the photos my Handsome Husband (then just my friend, Smart Ass Redheaded Kid) and before that I told you how he spilled his guts to me about having feelings for me...via Facebook.

So, Redheaded Kid was back with gifts aplenty and expecting somewhat of an answer to his question.  Essentially, do you want to be with me?

And I, the overthinking, neurotic, emotional female that I am did not have an answer.  I simply didn't know.  I knew I had feelings for the guy, but I didn't know if I was ready for that type of relationship yet.

I think I even mentioned to him at one point that I knew that our relationship would go one of two ways if we decided to become more than friends:

We would end up married.

OR

We would end up hating each other and never speaking.

At the ripe old age of 20, and feeling like crying at the thought not having the Redhead in my life, I wasn't sure I was ready for either of those options.

So, I did the next best thing other than give him an answer, or even a sign of what I was feeling.

I avoided him.

That is, until our weekend trip to Arizona came up.  We had planned it at the beginning of summer - my closest girlfriend and him and his friend would all go out to Arizona and stay at my parents' vacation home there.  We would drink, eat, swim and it would be fabulous.

And it was.

Best Friends: Swagger, Ms. Does it All, and Fashionista.

And me - and lets not talk about how many pounds have been gained since these photos, lets just not.

Euro Tripper, me and Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid/HH

We laughed, we drank 'till we acted like idots, we spent tons of time floatin' in the river, and it was amazing.  And something clicked.  Suddenly, throughout the weekend, it was like Redhead and I were us not just me and him.  I laughed harder than I had ever laughed in my life that weekend.  (My HH is the funniest person I know).

During one of our many river seshs, I drunkenly genuisely decided that this moment would be the perfect one to talk to the Redhead.  I sloppily sauntered over, and told him that I really liked him, but that we couldn't be together - it would be too hard with us living two hours apart.  I told him how great I thought he was, and how I wished things could be different, but I just didn't think it was a good idea at the time. 

And by the end of the convesation, it was like I had talked myself out of all those ideas.  Staring up at his kind eyes, that over the past few months had gained this warmth about them, all I wanted was for him to put his arms around me and never ever let go.

So, I did what any average girl would do.

After explaining to him all the reasons we could not and would not be together,

Me: Well aren't you going to kiss me?

Redhead: Wait, what?

Me: You're so stupid.

And then it happened.  That Redheaded Smart-Ass bent down (he's almost 10 inches taller than me), put his arms around me and kissed me.

The last first kiss I'd ever have.

This song ALWAYS reminds me of that day.

Next?  We get back to our respective counties in California, and Smart-Ass throws me for a bit of a loop.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband?  Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks.  Find out how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, and what he did for me while in Europe.

Redheaded Kid Spends His European Vacation With Me...Sort Of

It has been far too long since I have written another installment of the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband.  Last time, I told you how HH (who at the time was just my good friend, Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid) wrote me the sweetest message basically (for lack of a better word) professing his feelings for me and how he'd like for us to be together.

After Redhead told me how he felt, I had a minor freakout.  I distanced myself, while all the same time just wishing he was here so we could really see how things were.  It was hard to imagine myself with him, since at this point, it had been weeks since I had even talked to him, and when he left we were simply friends.

When Redhead came home, he was eager for us to get together.  My freakout continued, and I am sad to admit now that I blew him off for a few days.  I was simply trying to garner the momentum I would need to get through even seeing him again after the intimate things he had said to me in his gut-spilling Facebook message.

When we finally saw each other, Smart-Ass certainly had a few more surprises for me up his sleeve.  He had a bag full of goodies from all of the places he visited in Europe - literally a present for every day he was gone.  (This on top of the postcards he had mailed me from every city he had visited). 

But, there was more.

Days before Redhead had left, he had asked me to borrow a photo I had of the two of us.  I thought it was a little strange, but didn't think too much of it (thinking back it is totally weird, and I should have called him out on it).  Well, as it turns out, Redheaded Kid had plans for the that photo.

Essentially, that romantic Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid took me to Europe with him.

At this point, you'd think I would have realized I had a bona fide romantic who was so obviously worth taking a chance on.  Well, you'd be wrong.  I needed more time.  More time to pretend we were just friends, more time to date other people and pretend like I wasn't thinking about Redhead the entire time, more time to pussyfoot around the fact that I may very well have been starting my future in the freckled-face for the past 8 years.  But that all changed over a long weekend in the hot summer sun in Mohave Valley, Arizona where in less than 72 hours, Redhead and I went from friends to more than friends.

Redheaded Kid Spills His Guts...Via Facebook

It has been way too long since I've continued on the story of Handsome Husband (formerly known as Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid), and how exactly he became Handsome Husband.

Last time, I shared how Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid slowly but surely became Smart-Ass Redheaded Best Friend, just in time for me to move to LA and him to jet off to Europe for a month.

On Father's Day 2008, Redhead was printing his boarding passes and tying on his luggage tags as his flight for his month-long Euro-trip was leaving that night.  We had been talking very regularly, and had managed to grow a real friendship, one that I was really upset was going to have to be put on pause since he was going to be gone and wasn't taking his phone.  Redhead had managed to become my best friend in a matter of weeks, and it was him whom I wanted to text when I was bored, and he whose advice I needed when in a bind.  I was inordinately worried about what I would do without someone who just weeks prior had been nothing more than a distant, but fond, memory from junior high.

Smart-Ass had asked me if he could come over and say goodbye, and even though we had family visiting for the holiday, I really wanted to see him off, so I said okay.  He showed up, and we hung out in my parents' Hat Dad's garage (which seems very odd now, but somehow made a perfect goodbye-saying locale at the time), where I pretended not to care that he was leaving.  He promised me he'd bring me souvenirs, and I joked that he should send me a postcard from every city, along with buying me something from everywhere he went (what can I say - I'm needy).

There is one moment that I distinctly remember from that day, as if it has been seared into my memory for life.  For a quick minute, while standing around my Dad's garage, surrounded by tools and standing on a floor full of oil stains, Redhead and I somehow relaxed into the most couple-y, comfortable hugging position.  My back was to his front, and to this day, I don't know how we got to that position, or why we settled there for a minute, but I remember it feeling so right, and the fact that it felt so right feeling so scary.  I snapped out of it, remembered we were just friends, and we laughed about how weird that minute was.  Thinking back now, I'm fairly confident we were both wondering the same thing...why did that feel so right?

Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid was about to leave, we hugged (normally), and then I got a bright idea.

"You should write a note!  In case anything happens to you.  Not to be morbid or anything, but you know, just in case.  Leave it with your Mom or something.  Your last words" (This over-worded constant flow of thoughts is exactly how I speak in real life, by the way.)

Redhead told me he would, and that if anything happened, to make sure I got ahold of it to read.  This train of thought is seriously bizarre looking back, but I have to think we were both thinking there were unspoken words between us, and that maybe this would be a way to get them out, even if we couldn't quite say them out loud or to one another.

Redheaded Kid left that night, and it would be almost 48 hours before I heard from him on Facebook (the only contact he had while in Europe, as he didn't bring his phone).  Not sure if it was because I was still stuck on this whole "in case anything happens" kick, or what, but as the days (okay, it was only 2 days, but it felt like a week) clicked on and I didn't hear from him, I got more and more worried.  But I got word that he had made it safely and was having fun in Europe, and felt relieved, although still missing him.

I was somewhat consumed with starting my new internship, and living outside of my parents' home for the first time, but I found myself constantly going on Facebook to see if Redhead was online, and if he had sent me any new messages.

Days after he left, we were chatting online and I told him he should tell me what was in the note he left in case anything were to happen.  While I'd like to say the reason I suggested this was pure curiosity, I was also infatuated with finding out whether this note mentioned me at all, or if this tension I felt between us was all in my head.

A few days after my request, I got a message in my Facebook Inbox that would change everything.  The message was prefaced with a warning that it was written a few glasses of cheap French wine deep, but that everything in it was true, and that he had been wanting to say it to me for some time now.

I'd like to keep the majority of that message to myself, as I'd like to think of it as the start of what would be a love story that, to me, is beautiful and something movies are made of.  I will share with you that the message Redhead sent me, buzzed off his butt at a computer-station in France, included the nicest things anyone had ever said to me.

In the message, Redhead told me I was amazing, that I deserved the best of the best there was out there, and that I was beautiful.  While I've been dealt a compliment or two in my time, there is something about someone bearing their soul to you (even over a Facebook message) that seems to make the compliments ring so much more true.  In the message, he told me he would be willing to work with the distance between us (when he returned from Europe, there would still be a 2-hour driving distance between us indefinitely at the time), but that more than anything he valued my friendship and hoped sending the message wouldn't ruin things between us if we couldn't be more than friends.

In my rented room in Redondo Beach on the receiving end of the message, I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling.  I was partially surprised, though I had felt that there was something there almost from the get-go.  I was flattered by his sweet compliments, and taken aback by his complete honesty.  I am embarrassed to admit that it took me longer than it should have to respond, and that I wasn't very considerate of his feelings.  I was so confused, and didn't know what to say.  I am more embarrassed to admit that when I did finally respond, I, too, was a few glasses of cheap wine deep, and looking back on my response, there are a quite a few typos that I wish I could take back.

Redheaded Kid's Euro-trip started off with this intense message, with my very half-assed response in which I drunkenly sloppily told him I didn't know what to say, and thank you (but looked more like thankks yousu in my stupor), and asked him if we could just see where things went when he returned from his trip.  I continued with my life, continued seeing someone as I was when Redhead had left, and continued talking to Redhead throughout his entire trip via Facebook.  I'll admit that for some time after I received his message, I was a bit distant.  I truly did not know how I felt, what I wanted, or where to go from there.  I also was very casually seeing someone, but seeing someone all the same.

Little did I know that while I was wondering what would become of our friendship, and whether it would turn into more when he was back in the States, Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid was doing all that he could to show much he cared about me from across the pond...but I'll save the story of those efforts for next time...

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband?  Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks.

Redheaded Kid Becomes Redheaded Best Friend

Last time, I told you how Handsome Husband (long before he was Handsome Husband - when we he was just Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid) reappeared in my life after having been MIA for quite some time.

After I broke up with Control Freak, I couldn't get that Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid out of my head.  Why had he come to visit me a few months ago?  What exactly did he want?  Why did he even think of me randomly?  After a week or two of internal debate, I finally bit the bullet at called Redhead.  I told him about how I broke up with Control Freak, and how much of a mess that was.

He was still in living in San Diego at the time, while I was home in Suburban Paradise Orange County.  I was, however, gearing to move to Los Angeles for the summer for an internship I had landed.  He told me he was going to be in the area for the weekend, and did I want to get together.  We decided to meet for coffee.

When that day came, I wasn't sure why I was so nervous.  It wasn't like I had a crush on the kid, it was just Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid, who I had pined over for years...but that was a long time ago.  I dressed to the nines, with the idea to tell him I was going out later (don't you love game playing for no reason?).

We met, and I think I laughed for the entire coffee date (which was not a date date, just two folks meeting for a cup of joe!).  Redheaded Kid was so funny, and the conversation never hit a lull.

Smart-Ass told me how he was going to be moving home soon for the summer, and he bragged about his big plans for traveling Europe over the break from school.

I left Starbucks smiling, but I truly never ever thought we would be anything but friends.  While a little flirtatious, I didn't get the impression Redheaded Kid wanted anything but a friendship either.  But what certainly came out of the coffee date (again - not a date date) was a blooming friendship - soon I was calling Redhead weekly, then a couple times a week, and texts became almost an hourly event.  I quickly got attached, and wanted to know what he thought about everything.  He went from being someone I hadn't spoken to in years to someone I could barely get through the day without checking in with.  It was fun to have a best friend that was a guy, and Redhead was (and is!) so funny that it was hard not to want to talk to him!

The final month of school went by and soon Smart-Ass was moving home, and I was moving away.  I had met a guy that I started seeing, and Redhead had quickly gone from best friend to relationship advisor.  I would see Redhead a few times before he left for Europe, but our friendship was mostly via phone.

(Redheaded Kid and I circa Summer of 2008)

Next time - Redhead goes to Europe, and somehow still manages to be an attentive best friend from thousands of miles away.

Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband?  Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, and how he reappeared in my life after moving down to San Diego for college.

Redheaded Kid Gives Me a Surprise Visit

Lets see, where did we leave off…right, Redheaded Kid and I had just graduated high school.  Redhead was off to San Diego to get a Bachelor’s degree at a top school, and I was staying here in our hometown to go to the local community college to find my own path.

Redhead had a girlfriend at the time, and I, in turn, had my own high school boyfriend.  My relationship fizzled before we even hit midterms, and I spent the first year and a half of college single.  I visited Fashionista a lot, and got to know her friends well – she went to college just 20 minutes north of where we grew up.

After an extended period of singlehood, I met a boy – we’ll call him Control Freak.  Control Freak became my boyfriend before long (actually, like absurdly fast – red flag #1), and proceeded to turn in to the boyfriend I think most girls have one or two of in their past.  He was controlling (hence the name), and mean, and didn’t bring much to the table; my relationship with him was one of those big mistakes you make while you’re growing up that just took you a little too long to realize.

Up until now, Redhead and I had all but completely lost contact.  We didn’t talk, and I honestly didn’t know what he was up to at all.  I knew he had moved to San Diego, but beyond that anyone’s guess was as good as mine.  Months before the aforementioned relationship finally ended (much to almost everyone I knew at the time’s excitement), I got a random phone call from a number I didn’t recognize.  On the other line was Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid.  I was shocked and instantly got anxious (not a fan of being caught off-guard), but tried to play it cool.  He said he was in town and wanted to hang out, and I promised him I’d call him later.

The truth is (and HH was sad to hear this when I finally told him), I was never going to call him back.  Not only was I in a relationship with a controlling guy who I knew would not have been okay with that, but I was nervous to see the Redhead!  I hadn’t seen him in years, and even with the amount of time that had gone by, I couldn’t help but remember the way I used to long for him to pay attention to me, and the rejection I felt when he didn’t.

Imagine my surprise then, when Redhead called me announcing his arrival and telling me to come outside – the kid was not easily deterred.  I nervously went outside, and we sat on my front steps and, to my surprise, talked for hours.  He told me how he had finally broken up with his high school girlfriend, and how he was playing soccer in San Diego.  I lied and told him how happy I was in my relationship, and talked about my current job.  When he left, we hugged goodbye and I was sad to let go because I knew that as long as I was in my current relationship, this would be the last time I saw or spoke to Redhead for a while, despite the promise I made him that I would “keep in touch”.

In what turned out to be a great decision – a month later, I broke up with Control Freak.  And wouldn’t you know it, the first person I thought to call and tell about it (after going through my mental phone tree of my best girlfriends that is)…that Smart-Ass Redhead that hadn’t seemed to fully escape my mind since he gave me that impromptu visit just weeks earlier.

Next time…the Redhead goes from guy of the past to best friend, but doesn’t particularly love being in the friend zone.

High School with Handsome Husband (Before He Was Handsome Husband)

As I’ve mentioned, Handsome Husband and I met when we were just in junior high.  We went on to go to the same high school, and spent four years very loosely involved with one another’s lives, but somehow always somewhat omnipresent.

After being rejected for two years (sorry Honey, but that’s what it was!), I went to Diablo High ready to meet new people and start fresh.  Until I saw HH (to be known as Smart-ass Redheaded Kid for the remainder of this post).  All of those butterflies came rushing back, and suddenly I was back at the Hello Dance in 7^th grade, and he was looking at me like we were the only people there.  An awkward 14-year-old hug (you know the kind – none of your body from the collarbones down are touching, butts out) and some small talk later, and I had to remind myself that this time things were going to be different.  This was high school (feels funny now, saying that it was like the Olympics or something) – I had a chance to start over and be whoever I wanted to be and that person was not “the girl who really likes Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid.”

I went to a large high school (my graduating class had close to 700 seniors), so there were lots of people to meet and lots of friends to be made.  I didn’t go into high school a social butterfly, but I’d like to think by the time I left I had transformed from awkward adolescent to sociable young adult.

Redheaded Kid and I crossed paths often, but always in fleeting ways.  A Spanish class together here (one in which I had an emotional breakdown due to my boyfriend at time’s new haircut, not sure how Redhead ever let me forget that one), a quick chat during lunch there, morning science classes next to each other senior year.

Smart-ass Redhead and I both did a lot of growing and learning about ourselves during high school, completely unrelated to one another.  He started a serious relationship about halfway in that lasted through graduation and even survived the first year of college.  I did my share of loving and losing, and being dumped and doing some dumping.  We both spent time learning (from other people) how to be a good partner, how to be a bad one, and what we did and didn’t want in relationships.  I am so glad we had this time to learn from other people and learn about ourselves because I think it is invaluable.  Sometimes I envy real high school sweethearts (why couldn’t we have figured this out a little earlier?).  But I know that if we wouldn’t have taken that time to really get to know ourselves before we made this choice to be together, it might not have worked out the way (I thank God) it has.

Redhead and I graduated (and by that time, we had drifted so far apart I’m not sure I even saw him at graduation), and went on to do completely different things with our lives.  He moved to San Diego, continued his high school relationship, and started pursuing a degree in Political Science.  I stayed with my parents (also continued by high school relationship, though it was fizzling fast before I even got to throw my cap in the air) and went to the local community college, unsure of exactly where I would end up.

One thing we both had in common – we were completely unaware of the winding path ahead of us that would lead us back to one another. 

Want to know how it happened?  Stay tuned!

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How I Met Handsome Husband

Handsome Husband and I have known each other for over 10 years.  This means we have known each other for almost as long as we have not known each other.  HH and I met in intermediate school (junior high, middle school, whatever you call it) – when we were young, impressionable, immature 12-year-olds, when Handsome Husband was not Handsome Husband but Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid.  It is insane to me when I see 12-year-olds now and they just look so young – and I think there is something so sweet about us having known each other since we were just children.  Why just grow old together, if you can grow up together, too?

I was not “cool” in 7^th grade (I’m still not sure that I’m “cool,” but that’s irrelevant).  I was short, completely unaware of how to style myself (again, not quite sure I’ve actually mastered this one yet), somewhat shy, and desperate for male attention.  So when Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid looked my way at a school dance, he had no idea what was coming.

One thing I was inexplicably completely comfortable with during this awkward phase of my life – dancing.  And I mean dancing – not swaying to the music – but unapologetic, energetic, licentious dancing (I still make no qualms about making the dance floor my home for the night, as evidenced by some very flattering wedding photos).  I was in the middle of one of my patented 7^th grade dance moves, which may or may not have involved dropping it like it was hot before the phrase was even invented, at the “Hello Dance” at school when Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid collided into my life, and never really found his way out.

My friends and I were in our own dancing world when one of them nudged me and told me to look over my shoulder.  I turned around and was confronted with Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid staring at me as he walked by.  I hadn’t met him, nor do I even recall seeing him before that.  We made eye contact and Redhead gave me the look – I am certain that the reason this look made such an impact on me at the time is the simple fact that no one had ever looked at me like that before.  No one had ever looked at me like I was sexy, and Redhead (in his relatively innocent 12-year-old way, mind you) sure seemed to be looking at me like that’s what he was thinking. 

That look did it for 7^th grade me.  In typical junior high school girl fashion, I decided I was unabashedly in love with Smart-Ass, and needed him to be with him (what I really wanted was to call him my “boyfriend,” which in 7^th grade was nothing more than a title and maybe hand-holding here and there).  All my girlfriends would try and convince Redhead that we should “date,” and tell him how much I adored him.  He wasn’t interested, and I did not understand why he seemed so intrigued when he saw me at the school dance, but not later on (only years later would I see this was common pattern between men and women, seen often in nightclubs and bars).  Melodrama ensued, and a few years and tears later I had finally moved on – or so I thought.

Clearly I was wrong being that with time and maturation Smart-Ass Redhead Kid turned into Smart-Ass Redheaded Man, then Smart-Ass Redheaded Boyfriend, Smart-Ass Fiancé (still Redheaded), and now Handsome (Redheaded) Husband.  

While my 7^th grade self (and my 7^th grade ego) were a bit bruised by Redhead’s rejection, I love this story.  I love knowing that my husband remembers me before I was even a woman, let alone a woman he loved.  I love talking about what we were both thinking, and how Smart-Ass wasn’t really disinterested, just shy and scared (as most 12-year-old boys are).  And more importantly I love knowing that for the years that I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I felt so strongly about Redhead, I finally found my reason.  Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid is my soulmate, my lover, my best friend, my Handsome Husband – 7^th grade me just knew it long before anyone else.