Last time, I shared the photos my Handsome Husband (then just my friend, Smart Ass Redheaded Kid) and before that I told you how he spilled his guts to me about having feelings for me...via Facebook.
So, Redheaded Kid was back with gifts aplenty and expecting somewhat of an answer to his question. Essentially, do you want to be with me?
And I, the overthinking, neurotic, emotional female that I am did not have an answer. I simply didn't know. I knew I had feelings for the guy, but I didn't know if I was ready for that type of relationship yet.
I think I even mentioned to him at one point that I knew that our relationship would go one of two ways if we decided to become more than friends:
We would end up married.
We would end up hating each other and never speaking.
At the ripe old age of 20, and feeling like crying at the thought not having the Redhead in my life, I wasn't sure I was ready for either of those options.
So, I did the next best thing other than give him an answer, or even a sign of what I was feeling.
I avoided him.
That is, until our weekend trip to Arizona came up. We had planned it at the beginning of summer - my closest girlfriend and him and his friend would all go out to Arizona and stay at my parents' vacation home there. We would drink, eat, swim and it would be fabulous.
And it was.
Best Friends: Swagger, Ms. Does it All, and Fashionista.
And me - and lets not talk about how many pounds have been gained since these photos, lets just not.
Euro Tripper, me and Smart-Ass Redheaded Kid/HH
We laughed, we drank
'till we acted like idots, we spent tons of time floatin' in the river, and it was amazing. And something clicked. Suddenly, throughout the weekend, it was like Redhead and I were us not just me and him. I laughed harder than I had ever laughed in my life that weekend. (My HH is the funniest person I know).
During one of our many river seshs, I
drunkenly genuisely decided that this moment would be the perfect one to talk to the Redhead. I sloppily sauntered over, and told him that I really liked him, but that we couldn't be together - it would be too hard with us living two hours apart. I told him how great I thought he was, and how I wished things could be different, but I just didn't think it was a good idea at the time.
And by the end of the convesation, it was like I had talked myself out of all those ideas. Staring up at his kind eyes, that over the past few months had gained this warmth about them, all I wanted was for him to put his arms around me and never ever let go.
So, I did what any average girl would do.
After explaining to him all the reasons we could not and would not be together,
Me: Well aren't you going to kiss me?
Redhead: Wait, what?
Me: You're so stupid.
And then it happened. That Redheaded Smart-Ass bent down (he's almost 10 inches taller than me), put his arms around me and kissed me.
The last first kiss I'd ever have.
This song ALWAYS reminds me of that day.
Next? We get back to our respective counties in California, and Smart-Ass throws me for a bit of a loop.
Want to catch up on the story of how my Handsome Husband became my Handsome Husband? Find out how we met, what it was like going to high school with HH, how he reappeared in my life after moving to San Diego for college, and how he went from a memory to a best friend in weeks. Find out how I found out he wasn't thinking of me as just a friend, and what he did for me while in Europe.