Wednesday, July 17, 2013

On Babymaking: The Decision

This series of eight posts was written throughout our journey of trying to conceive our little New Years Baby.  I am so glad I started writing from the very beginning, because I can look back and remember how I felt during this time.  I remember feeling like every single person in the blogworld's story started out with something like "so we started trying, and much to my surprise, I got a positive test a few weeks later, and 9 months later we had a healthy baby!".  While I by no means, suffered from infertility, our road to where we are now was not completely covered in rainbows and butterflies.  There was anxiety, and sadness, and lots of worry.  I know there are women out there who feel like less of a woman because they didn't get pregnant that very first month, and I know that because I am one of them.  I hope that, in addition to great diary entries of what was going on in my mind at the time, maybe just one woman will relate to our story.

This post was originally written on Sunday, September 23 - a little over a week after we made "the decision".

The decision to start a family is not an easy one.  And by that I don't mean that myself and my Handsome Husband are not sure if we want a baby, or to have a family, but the decision as to when to start trying to start that family...not an easy one, in my opinion.

HH and I have always known we wanted to have kids (we say four now, but I think I need to have one before I know if I can handle four little ones running around).  It was something that didn't even really need a conversation because it was such an integral part of both of us, but of course there was a chat had at some point in our courtship - though it couldn't have been all that intense because I have no recollection of it.

We also always said we wanted to be "young parents".  We want to have the opportunity to know the generations that will follow us, and with our lofty conception goals, we'd have to get started young to pop em all out, right?

So about six months from our mid twenties (makes my stomach turn every single time) and a month or so after closing escrow on our very first home, we sat down and had a serious chat about babies.

I've always had a mental list of things I wanted to check off before a mini Stress Case came to be.  As we chatted, I realized I had crossed all of them off my list - married, financially independent, own a home, both have good jobs.  And at the top of the list of reasons why we should start a family?  We both really wanted to.


And while I'll keep some of the details of that little convo between HH and I, we clearly came to an agreement that night to give it a try.

(PS. Does anyone else think talking (to other people, not my HH) about the whole trying to get pregnant process is totally effing awkward?  Like yup, one night we decided to try to have a baby and then we had lots of ... fun trying, totes TMI.)


Julie said...

As long as you two discussed it, and not your friends, family, etc, then its all good. I'm getting tired of others trying to tell me its time for us to have kids when they aren't the ones in our shoes. We still need some of those necessities (house, stable job for me) before I can even imagine bringing a little one into the world. Some don't agree with that but its not their life, however the comments are coming from those who had kids before they were ready, before they were stable and now they are struggling big time.

Ginny @ Buttergirl Diaries said...

I'm engaged and will be getting married in May. We already have the talk. It's not really awkward but we want to wait 3-4 years. I want kids, but I wanted kids a lot MORE when I was younger. Now that I am older, I just know how much work they are and am not as naieve as I used to be abotu kids. It's not all roses and sunshine and they grow up SUPER FAST. My soon to be mom in law says that you are never really ready. And even when you think you probably aren't ready, you probably could have one and still be okay. But you are never really ready so you should just do it when it feels right.


Catalyn H said...

It is SO awkward. I mean, we started talking about it while we were lying in bed. I mean we were clothed, but that is where the first convo was. And then actually making the baby!? AWKWARD!!!!

Kristine said...

I HATE when people say they're "trying"... Just an image I don't care to see, hahaha.

Shell said...

Ha- yes, it can be very awkward to talk about it!

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