So, they say something is always going to wrong when planning an event as big as a wedding, right? It's true. Although I think we got really
really lucky. Our day was nearly perfect, and my stress level was so low (shocking for me).
There was one thing that didn't go the way I planned, and it makes me sad to even have to say what it was.
Our Ceremony.
The thing is, I poured my heart into our ceremony. I took pieces of my parents ceremony, and pieces from things I had heard and read, and even did some extensive research. I fretted over words, and spent hours days staring at my computer screen making sure every word was perfect.
And then my Reverend ad-libbed about half of it.
To be fair, in the moment, I barely noticed (except for some of my favorite parts where I found myself lip-syncing the words that should have been coming out of his mouth, confused by what actually was coming out of his mouth).
So today, along with photos from our beautiful wedding, I share with you,
The Ceremony That Should Have Been.
Who presents this woman to be married to this man today?
Hat Daddy: Her Mother and I do.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, friends and family of Casey and S*.
We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of two separate lives in marriage.
For these Casey and S, this is an affirmation of the life they have created together.
In deciding to be married, they are making a commitment to place a lasting bond on their relationship.
In inviting you to share this with them, they are establishing themselves as a family.
The roots of this family are formed by Casey and S' own families, the leaves flourish in the love of their friends, but only they can provide the life to enable their marriage to grow.
Marriage is a partnership created out of a unique meshing of love and deep friendship.
Partners in marriage commit themselves to provide support to one another, and bind together in times of adversity, as well as share happiness.
A good and balanced relationship is one in which neither is overpowered or absorbed by the other,
but stand side by side, as trees in a forest.
This, it is out of the tension between separateness and union that love is born and reborn.
As the years go by, Casey and S, you will realize more and more that this marriage you have chosen for yourselves was not given to you by anyone else.
It is a process that builds throughout your lives.
You work at it, day by day, meeting the challenges that your lives together will bring.
We cannot choose what chances may befall us, but we can shape the spirit with which we shall meet them.
"A Marriage" by Michael Blumenthal
Read by our good friend, YouTube Star
(Yes, it feels a little wrong typing nicknames in my wedding ceremony, but bear with me.)
"You are holding up a ceiling with both arms. It is very heavy, but you must hold it up or else it will fall down on you. You arms are tired, terribly tired and as the day goes on, it feels as if either your arms or the ceiling will soon collapse. But then, unexpectedly, something wonderful happens – someone walks into the room and holds their arms up to the ceiling beside you. So you finally get to take down your arms. You feel the relief of respite, the blood flowing back into your fingers and arms. And when your partner’s arms tire, you hold up your own to relieve him again. And it can go on like this for many years without the house falling."
You are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in the entire world whom you love best.
Today, your priorities change.
Your focus and commitment to each other is now your top priority.
You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well.
You are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities and love.
From "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" by Louis de Bernieres
Read by my aunt and good friend, Aunt Delaware
"Love is temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over after being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that are one tree and not two."
Each of you has brought a ring to give and receive as a token of your pledge and symbol of your love.
Though your rings are complete and perfect, your marital completeness will come from nurturing your hearts and lives.
Your wedding rings are the first gift you give to each other after exchanging your vows.
Secondly, your rings are an endless and complete circle symbolizing your commitment to one another.
As you place your rings on one another's ring fingers, please repeat after me:
“With this ring, I give you my heart.
I promise that from this day forward you shall not walk alone.
May my heart be your shelter,
and my arms be your home.”
Casey and S, do you promise to respect and remain faithful to one another, loving what you know of each other, and trusting what you do not know yet?
We do.
I S, take you Casey to be my wedded wife.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
I Casey, take you S to be my wedded husband.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
James Dillet Freeman’s “Blessing for a Marriage” says it best:
May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance and understanding.
May you always need one another – not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you know your fullness.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say “I love you,” and take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of another’s presence – no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by and side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distance cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.
Now, in honor of the Jewish custom, we will end the service with the ritual breaking of the glass.
The custom of “breaking the glass” has a number of interpretations.
Some say it is a symbol of the love that will remain in good times, and in sorrow; others say it symbolizes that as you go forward in life, so do you leave some things behind.
The permanence of the broken glass represents a permanent change in the lives of this couple, as well.
Just as glasses are broken and cannot ever be exactly the same as they once were, their lives will never be quite the same.
S and Casey, our wish for you today is that the innumerable pieces of the glass beneath your feet will be a reminder of the innumerable ways you will love each other in the years to come.
And now, by the authority given unto me by the laws of the State of California, as an ordained minister, I pronounce you husband and wife.
S, you may now kiss your bride.
May God bless you and keep you, cause his face to shine upon you, now, and for the rest of your lives together.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. S and Casey!
Next? We dance back down the aisle as husband and wife and a few bathroom touch-ups.
*Maybe HH's name starts with an S, maybe it doesn't
