Wednesday, November 13, 2013

On Complaining During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is not all fun all the time.  If you've been pregnant, you know from experience, and if not - you've heard all the complaints in books, movies, and from people you know.  The heartburn, the back aches, how you can barely move as you get close to the end without struggling, the sore boobs, the sore tummy, the swollen hands and feets - there's lots of pieces of pregnancy that are not only not fun, but they actually blow.

While usually complaining is something I think of myself as a master of, I really hate complaining about pregnancy.  Or really, I try to avoid complaining about pregnancy to anyone outside of my husband, my mother, and my best girl friend. 

Why?  Because I remember when I wanted so badly to get pregnant and how much it stung to see and hear women bitch about being pregnant.  There was one girl in particular I am friends with on Facebook that did nothing but complain about being pregnant, though she did note that her pregnancy was planned and that she was delighted about it.  Each nasty complaint on Facebook drove me crazier and crazier, to the point I actually had her "hidden" from my Newsfeed for some time to avoid seeing her bitching.

Look, I get it.  I'm currently sweating my ass off even though my thermostat says it's 69 degrees in here, and I've already taken two acetaminophen for back pain today.  I get it

But the thing is - when you hear people say they feel blessed to have gotten pregnant, to have stayed pregnant, and to be closer and closer to welcoming their new family member into their lives, they should mean it*.  And with good things come some trade-offs.  I really do feel blessed and honored nd grateful for the opportunity to carry a child, and to welcome a child into our family.  And sometimes I feel paralyzed with fear that something could go wrong, and how terribly I would regret the complaints.

So pregnant ladies, the next time you update your status, or complain to a friend that may or may not be suffering from the invisible pain of struggling to get pregnant, or tweet a little complaint about pregnancy - remember how blessed you truly are.  And take a moment and decide whether you really want to complain.


*This is not to say people who complain do not, in fact, feel blessed.  However, perception is everything, and constant complaints make it hard to view someone as truly feeling grateful.


Julie said...

I totally agree with this post! I am not pregnant but everyone one around me is and there's only a few who glowed because they were truly happy with everything.

Lindsay said...

I very much agree with what you are saying. While I never struggled to get pregnant, I am certainly so grateful for this miracle. And it is SO not fun to be pregnant sometimes but I just keep thinking of it as a "woman's right of passage". Because really it is such a short period of time in our lives and what we will really remember is all the years AFTER baby is here! xo

MommyMandy Musings said...

I do agree with you. But I think it depends on the person. Constantly complaining about weight gain, back aches, not sleeping etc gets excessive. But some people can have severe medical problems during pregnancy. I had hyperemesis {the Kate Middleton thing} that led to 20 weeks with my first, and 40 weeks with my second, of morning sickness. Morning sickness that literally made me feel like I had the stomach flu every day all day long. In the same way I think people who have trouble getting pregnant should be able to complain about the crappy hand they've been dealt with in life, so should people with severe medical problems during pregnancy.

Casey said...

I couldn't agree more! I also hid people on Facebook because I couldn't take their complaining. The only good thing she ever said was right when she announced. It is just so annoying!

Hilary said...

I'm the same way, I TRY not to complain unless it's to my mom or husband, and if I do post something funny that I'm complaining about, I try to throw in something I'm thankful for, like baby kicks!

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