Monday, June 3, 2013

Wedding No Nos

Around the blog world, and in real life (and by real life, I mean on Instagram and Facebook, as I haven't been to a wedding in nearly two years - sad), I have been seeing all sorts of blatant wedding faux pas!  So, being the wedding ettiquette junky I am, and perfectly timed with the onslaught of weddings during the summer - I thought I'd share some Wedding No Nos.

1. Wearing white to a wedding.
This will never ever be okay in my book, unless specifically requested by the bride and groom.  Though that is not my cup of tea, if that's what the happy couple wants well then, let's keep them happy.  In absolutely any other circumstance, this is tacky as all hell.  
2. Not giving a gift.

We all know that weddigs are about celebrating love and two lives joining together and all that jazz.  However, it is a gift giving occasion.  Showing up to a birthday party without at least a card is terribly distasteful, and showing up for a wedding without one?  Way worse.  Certainly not naming names, but we had a handful of guests who didn't give any kind of gift or card at our nuptuals.  A card with just a nice sentiment and nothing else would have been better!
3. Asking if you can bring someone.
A bride spends long hours deliberating who to invite, who to unfortunately exclude, and who to extend a "guest" invitation to.  After making those tough decisions come to brutal ones on how to address the invitations - how to make their intentions clear to avoid awkward conversations like "Can my friend come with me to the wedding?" or "I am newly dating this great guy, I'd really like to bring him.".  Let's break it down, if your invitation is addressed to you and someone else by name - you are to bring yourself and that specified someone.  You are not to bring anyone of your choice (we had a guest do this at our wedding, a complete strange to both bride and groom and everyone else in attendence).  If your invitation is address to you and a guest, you can bring anyone of your choice.  If your invitation is addressed to just you, you are to bring yourself and only yourself.  Simple enough, yeah?
4. Arriving late.
Wedding invitations normally go out six to eight weeks before the exciting event. Thus, you know exactly what time you are expected to be somewhere for months.  Being late is simply rude, and totally unacceptable.  Arrive early, allow time for traffic, and ensure respect to the many people involved who planned a wedding that I'm sure they didn't anticipate being interrupted by late attendees.  On a related note: attending the ceremony but missing the reception due to other obligations is much more polite than the other way around.
5. Bringing a very small child.
Unless your child is in the wedding, or the bride or groom specifically requested their attendence, very small children do not belong at weddings.  Our wedding was only children 13+ due to the nature of 22-year-olds at weddings, and the fact that there would be no tantrums (other than a few bridesmaids who had a few too many cocktails maybe) on my day if I had anything to do with it.  Howver, some couples love the idea of dancing with the toddling and young children in their family.  However, it is my opinion (and I don't think I'm alone here) that a child under a year simply doesn't belong there (unless of course, they fall into one of the aforementioned categories).
What are your Wedding No Nos?


Lindsy Brock said...

Love this post! As a wedding photographer, I would add that you need to keep your crappy point-and-shoot and your cell phones at home or in your pocket. The bride and groom paid A LOT OF MONEY to have a pro there and you do NOT need to be snapping photos. If you do, be discreet and dont get in front of the professional photographer, say, during the cake cutting (always the worst) AH! Good post!

Nikki said...

As a wedding planner I agree with all of these! My last 3 weddings have had a girl in white, and last weekend a guest showed up as the bride and groom were kissing. Not ok. and I agree with Lindsy for sure!

Julie said...

I agree with all these, especially the gift giving one and the RSVP. We had 1 guest come, he rsvp'd for 2, and came without his other half and no gift. Then one of hubby's best friends RSVP'd 2...then two days before the wedding tells us he decided to go on a bachelor party instead. I was pissed, not to mention that his girlfriend could have still come since he did put her down but no - so again 2 more meals down the drain. Both of these couples are now engaged to be married and the thoughts cross my mind now of do I do what they did to us? (I'm nicer than that but doesn't mean I don't have the thoughts)

Chloe said...

I love this post. I Also love weddings. I agree with all of this! My biggest pet peeve besides people wearing white is people talking pictures of the ceremony with their phones/camera. That shit drives me insane!

Brittany @ Brittany's Joy Blog said...

Yes, yes YES! I find that the majority of people committing these faux pas are non-married, though; they haven't experienced them happening at their own yet! I never used to bring gifts (Ack, I know!!!!!) but now I make it a point to bring something to any event that I attend. It's not a free dinner/lunch!!!

Hilary said...

We had people show up to our wedding without bringing a gift as well. For people that we're not extremely close with, I find that strange, but I can get over it. For people who may be having a hard time financially, I can understand somewhat too. But for friends that you had JUST been in THEIR wedding and given them a gift a year prior to show up, EAT, DRINK from the open bar, and not give a gift? TACKY! We've been to several parties of theirs since then and have reciprocated by not bringing a gift. My husband actually refuses to go anywhere near them now because he can't stand cheap people. Lord knows, if it were appropriate to call people out for it, he'd have done it a long time ago.

Miss Southern Prep said...

I love kids, but I totally agree about not bringing little kids to a wedding! I think it's so rude when parents bring them and they cry during the ceremony!

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