Monday, April 9, 2012


I like to think of myself as a little bit of the trailblazer in my group of friends.  (God knows if any of them do, or if this is something I've titled myself all on my own.)

Not quite what I meant, but the first image that came up when I Googled "Trailblazer".

I was the first of my friends to move in with a boyfriend,
the first to get engaged,
the first to get married.

I'm the first of us to be house hunting.

Who knows if I'll be the first to get knocked up have a baby,
they could start passing me up one of these days!

Anyway, back to what I was saying.  It can be a little lonely out here on the limb that none of your friends have stepped out on yet.  (Good thing I've got my Handsome Husband to keep me company!)  But what I mean is, it takes a little extra effort (on both ends, I'm not making it work on my own!) to make a friendship work when you have less in common.  It's difficult for me to relate my single girlfriends dating stories, just as it's difficult for them to relate to my home buying woes.  I can't remember what it felt like to go on a first date, and they don't know what it feels like to go to bed with your husband every night.  Neither type of lifestyle is better than the other, just different and difference is an added obstacle in friendship.

There are some things I can't wait for my friends to go through, should they go down the same path as I have. 

I can't wait for a friend to realize she's dating the man she's going to marry.
It's a good feeling.

I can't wait to get a phone call from one of the longtime girlfriends telling me they're engaged.
It sure was exciting to make those phone calls.

I can't wait to throw bridal showers and subsequent baby showers.
I've already got them all planned out on Pinterest.

I can't wait to stand next to my girlfriends as they marry the men of their dreams,
like they did for me.

I can't wait to warm the hell out of some new homes that my friends buy.
Just like I know we will be doing when we find our perfect place.

But until then, I will enjoy and find the fun in the differences - hearing about first dates, getting to go to a new housewarming party as people move from apartment to apartment, visiting friends as they city-hop, and watching my friends follow the path that they make for themselves.


Kay said...

What a great post! I am the first of my friends to do marriage and a baby.. it is really hard sometimes to find a relatable place, but you find out who your true friends are- they are the ones who TRY just as hard as you to find that place :)

mandell said...

I can relate 100% to this post! I'm getting married in October and have a few friends on the same path but my very best friends are not even remotely close. It's been really hard! I sometimes feel like I'm being left out and I know they feel the same but it's a really hard topic to approach. Glad to know others are feeling the same way!

Courtney M said...

I can completely relate to this post except in a bit of an opposite way. I have one group of friends that is at the same life point as me so that group of girlfriends & I have lots to relate on, but my other group of friends are all at the point where they are starting to have babies and I'm finding that when those kids come there's less for us to do together...Thanks for making me feel like I'm not the only one!

Amber said...

I think you'd be a great trailblazer. That way all your friends can come to you for advice! I'm sure you're great at giving advice! :)

Julie said...

I actually was the last in a lot of what you wrote about but its not a rush and since I was there for all my friends I can only hope they will be here for my turns!

Casey said...

It's also pretty rough being the LAST of your friends. I was near the back of the line for the wedding and I am the only one without a baby (in my close group of girl friends). For me, its a little bit of jealousy that comes with being last.

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