Friday, September 2, 2011

Guest Blogger: The Brutally Blind Date

How adorable was Jaqueline's Things Thursday yesterday?  Reminded me of those sweet blissful (and terribly stressful, all at the same time) days of being engaged ... a whole six months ago. :) 

Today, my friends, is a special day.  One of my very best friends in whole wide world, my girly soul mate, the blonde bombshell to my brunette vixen, Miss Cute Apartment (who's real name is being revealed today - gasp!) from Diary of a Blonde is here to tell the story of her brutally blind date.  Seriously, by the end of this post, I am going to have major competition for bestie of this little lady - she is hysterical!  

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Hello everyone! I'm Kate, also known here as Casey's friend "Cute Apartment!" (A name which I love and hope to live up to!) You can also find me at my blog, Diary of a Blonde.


Of course I was honored when Casey asked if I wanted to guest post for her while she was away on her fabulous Pacific Northwest vacation and was glad that she already had an idea of what I should write about! I know this story is a good one because every time I tell it, I'm told so, and also re-telling it- I'm still in dis-belief that it happened. I am calling it

The Story of the Brutally Blind Date

Note: Names have been changed for identity purposes and to save the person involved any kind of humiliation. 

Last summer a mutual friend of mine and Casey's (Kindergarten Teacher) texted me and said she had a great friend who she thought I might "hit it off" with and asked if I would be willing to go on a date with him. Being a single girl with nothing really to lose I thought "What the heck?!" and agreed to give it a shot. I am was also a firm believer in the thought that everyone deserves a chance.... Until now.

The next day (this was a Tuesday) I got a text from Jason (I'm calling him this because he wore a fedora hat with a feather that reminded me of Jason Mraz) asking when I was free to set up this date. I was in the middle of painting my living room at the time and had plans that Wednesday and Thursday so figuring Friday was a good "date night" I suggested then. A couple minutes later he messaged back and said that he was in fact free on Friday but would prefer to get together sooner, like that night! Thinking this a bit strange and because I didn't want to leave my wall half painted I rearranged my plans for Wednesday and we agreed he would pick me up at my place at 7, Wednesday evening.

Wednesday Evening...

At 7 o'clock on the dot I was primped curled and ready for my date (This doesn't normally happen, I'm more of  a 15 minutes, fashionably late kind of girl, so this was a big deal for me to be on time.) When he hadn't shown up by 7:30 I was getting a little concerned and irritated that I had changed my original plans. Finally a little after 8 he shows up and we get in his truck and head out to begin our night. We seemed to be getting along okay, but I couldn't concentrate on the conversation because there was a stench in his truck so bad, it took all I had to not cover my nose with my hand. It was at this point I was beginning to curse Kindergarten Teacher's name AND also wonder if Jason was a murderer and THAT'S why his truck smelled so bad!

He took me to Jauvier's in Laguna Beach, a very nice restaurant off the PCH and on the water, but he didn't make reservations so we sat in an awkward table near the bar where it was too loud to actually hold a conversation. Despite everything, with a couple of margaritas in me I was making the best of my date and having an alright time...and then the bill came. (I want you all to know first that whenever I am on a date I usually always offer to pay for my half, even when I know it won't be accepted because A. I think it's the polite thing to do and B. Mostly because I think it's the polite thing to do.) However, When you take me to an extravagantly expensive restaurant where the meals aren't under $25.00 I don't think it's appropriate to offer, which is why I almost fell off my chair when he asked me if I could take care of my half! Of course I did but was really sad that I spent $45.00 on a meal and drinks just for me on a less than mediocre date when I could have been out with my friends instead. That left a sour taste in my mouth.

After dinner he asked what my plans were for the rest of the night. I said I should probably be heading home because I had to get up early and to be honest, I didn't want to risk what the next adventure would cost me. Not happy with my early morning answer he proceeded to drive me to a bowling ally in Lake Forest. Although he didn't ask me if I liked to bowl and didn't take into account that I was wearing heels with no socks at hand. As I was thinking about opening the door and jumping out of the car off the 133 State Route, Jordan Sparks came up on his iPod. "I love this song!" He exclaimed, and he turned the volume up full blast and sang aloud to "No Air" while I sat really cursing Kindergarten Teacher's name with my back vibrating from his poorly installed subwoofer box and my hand over my nose to drowned out the decomposing body smell- The song seems ironic to have been playing when I was in desperate need of fresh air!

Once at the bowling ally he pulled out a pair of dirty red socks for me to wear and a bag that had his name embroidered on it that held his own bowling ball and shoes! I was surprised when he offered to pay for the game but thought too soon because he said to me "Why don't you go to the bar and grab us some beers while I set up this game." I happily went to the bar just to be away from him and took down two tequila shots (to take off the edge) before grabbing a pitcher of beer and heading back to our lane. 

Not wanting to wear the dirty red socks or the "clown shoes" I went barefoot and proceeded to get my butt kicked by Jason, the professional bowler. At this point I didn't care about being polite or friendly, I was irritated, miserable and just wanted to go home. He joked about how I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't good at bowling or that I didn't like to play and claimed he felt bad for dragging me to a place I didn't want to be at and then embarrassing me too boot! I just looked at him and asked if he would please take me home. 

The car ride back to my house was awkward and quiet. He must have finally felt my mood because he didn't say anything except for that he would be moving to San Diego in the next month. All I said back was "fine." Finally the painstakingly long trip home had come to an end and I told him the date was interesting and got out of the truck. I was confused when he got out as well because if he was trying to be chivalrous it was WAAY too late. We walked up the stairs to my apartment together with no words and once to the door he gave me a look like he was expecting to be offered in or given a goodnight kiss. I did nothing but tell him goodbye and quickly shut the door behind me locking it incase he tried to come in. Silly I know, but one can never be to sure! 

That was the first and the last blind date that I will ever go on! He actually did try calling me, and texting me and even Facebooking me. I responded to twice, both times telling him it wasn't going to work out. He didn't seem to get it though because he kept trying. I even found the old message stashed away in my Facebook messages for all of your reading enjoyment!

Jason: Hey so I never heard anything back from you, the text never came through on my end . Did u want to get together again sometime? (sorry for asking like a million times, seems like technology hates me at the moment)

Me: Hi Jason, I was at work when you texted. I think you're a nice guy and I think we could be friends, but unfortunately the spark was just not there for me. I need someone closer to my age and the fact that you will be moving to San Diego doesn't help either. You can see why I didnt want to send this message a third time. Normally I just ignore the person, but this is a different situation being that you are a friend of my friend. I'm sorry, we're just not a match.

It was with this message- and the fact that I think Kindergarten Teacher had a talk with him that he finally took the hint and stopped trying to contact me. And that my friends is the story of my brutal blind date!

Thank you so much for staying tuned to my extravagantly long and traumatic tale! For shorter and more upbeat posts please stop by and say hi at my blog, Diary of a Blonde! I would love to hear about some of your "dates gone bad" experiences!

Also, a special thank you to Casey for letting me guest post on her wonderfully clever and always entertaining blog!

5 comments:

Heather said...

Oh my gosh! That was brutal!!

Sarah said...

hahaha omg wow... I'm so sorry you had to go through that! And shame on your friend for setting that up haha. girls should NEVER have to pay for anything when they are asked out on a date. I had only one guy ever do that to me...we already had been on a few dates and were kind of seeing each other, but I guess he didn't think so, because when we went to the movies, he only paid for one ticket! Another guy overheard when I freaked on him and said that I didn't have my wallet, so he offered to pay for mine. Yah..that was our last date. But that was no where near as bad as yours...sheesh..men.


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Emily Rachelle said...

I have yet to be on any dates, but even I know this one is BAD. Feel so sorry for you! Haha.


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Amy said...

so horrible!! I've been on some bad ones, but this was almost scary! I would have screamed "take me home nowww!!" bah. Sorry you had to endure this. :(

Sar said...

BEST BAD BLIND DATE STORY EVER. I need to go check out her blog ASAP!

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